Without You
by MarryTheNight25
Summary: Mara is lost after suffering a miscarriage and Randy isn't sure what to do to help because he's just as lost as she is...will they make it through this hard time and reunite? One shot request by DivaliciousDooL...


**Taking a shot at writing a one shot...this was a request from DivaliciousDooL and I hope she and everyone else enjoys it...this is a first for me, using a main man that isn't CM Punk, so hopefully I did it justice...I own nothing...Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Randy opened the door and yelled for Mara. He'd been away from home for three weeks and hadn't heard much from her, but he knew she was still struggling with the loss of their baby. He pushed the thought aside as he walked into the bedroom and dropped his bag by the door. The room was empty, but he spotted a note on the nightstand and sat down to read it, immediately regretting it as he read the words.

_Randy, I needed some time to myself to think over a few things, so I went to visit my parents. I'll call you soon and please don't worry about me. Love, Mara_

Randy rubbed a hand over his face as he let out a sigh. He knew she had been struggling with the miscarriage and he also knew he hadn't been there as much as he could have been, but he never saw this coming. He picked up the phone to call her, but it went straight to voicemail; letting out a deep sigh he laid back on the bed wiping his hands over his tired face. He never thought the day she told him she was expecting that things would end this way, but who expects things to go wrong. He figured they'd get married and await their new arrival, but not everything ends happily.

_Mara sat nervously on the edge of the bath tub waiting for the timer to go off. As she chewed her lip she contemplated what this would mean for her relationship. She'd been with Randy for almost two years, and while they'd recently gotten engaged, there had been no wedding plans made and children were never discussed. Randy was so busy with his career and she was still so young with so much left to do on her list before motherhood was even thought about. She'd just finished college a year earlier and had landed her dream job working for a record company and she couldn't help but worry she'd have to give everything up because of a night of poor decisions._

_They'd always been careful, but alcohol tends to blur your decision making. Randy had been on the road for over a month and she was beyond lonely. Most of the time that Randy was on the road, Mara found herself being a home body, but on that fateful night her girlfriends had talked her in to going out. She sat at the bar slowly nursing her beer while her friends flirted with the guys around them. Letting out a sigh as she checked her phone, she heard a familiar voice as a stranger sat beside her._

"_Now there's no reason for a pretty girl like you to look so sad. What do you say I buy you another round and you go home with me tonight?" Mara looked to her left and smiled as she threw her arms around Randy. He'd managed to surprise her and while she usually hated surprises, this was a welcomed one. Being in his arms after a month of absence made her feel home, it made her feel safe._

_One beer turned into ten and by the end of the night they were piling into a cab and making out in the backseat. Once the cab stopped at their shared apartment, Randy wasted no time paying the guy and hoisting Mara over his shoulder getting a giggle from her as he ran for the door, quickly unlocking it. One thing led to another as they were both quickly naked and in their bedroom, lips and hands exploring. Mara gasped as Randy thrust into her making her feel complete. All of her logical thoughts, which were already blurred from the alcohol, left her mind as pleasure took over. She ran her nails over his shoulders as she wrapped her legs around his waist guiding him to go deeper. Mara moaned as she felt herself go and Randy followed minutes later. He collapsed beside her wrapping his arms around her and planting kisses on her neck and shoulders. Her mind was clear of any thoughts and she was happy to finally be in the arms of the man she loved; she never thought that only two months later she'd regret the whole night._

* * *

Mara sat in her old bedroom looking out the window. She hadn't called Randy, but looking at the clock she knew he'd be home by now and he'd know she was gone. Part of her felt selfish for taking time for herself, but the other part of her was reminded of what she'd been through over the last two months. From the day she found out she was pregnant, she'd been worried; worried about what Randy would think and what a baby would mean for her future. She'd never been more nervous then the day that she'd told Randy, but was pleasantly surprised to find he was thrilled. He immediately started talking about getting married and looking at houses, which overwhelmed her, but excited her nonetheless. In time she found herself becoming excited to be a mom and wondering what kind of mom she would be, so when she miscarried it was devastating. Perhaps the worst part was that she was alone when it happened.

_Randy had left early Friday to head to the airport and he wasn't due home until Tuesday. Mara was laying in bed after a long day at work that hadn't been helped by the persistent back pain she'd been feeling. She'd just drifted off, when she was forced awake by a sharp pain in her stomach. Placing a hand on her stomach, she felt it again and slowly started to get up. Walking into the bathroom, she found the pain becoming unbearable and knew something was wrong. Without thinking, she grabbed her keys and headed for the car trying to ignore the pain in her abdomen and the fear that was coming with it._

Mara thought back to that night and the ultrasound the doctor had performed. Wiping at the fresh tears falling from her eyes, she remembered not hearing a heartbeat and the doctor's apologies. She'd sat in the hospital bed silently crying while clutching her stomach. It couldn't be true, just that afternoon she'd been rubbing her protruding belly thinking of names, wondering if it was a boy or a girl, and now there was nothing. How was she going to tell Randy? He'd been so excited about becoming a father and now she had to give him the heartbreaking news that it wasn't going to happen.

* * *

Randy woke up when he heard his phone, but sighed seeing it was only Cody. He ignored the call figuring he'd return it eventually and wondered what to do about Mara. She hadn't returned his calls or texts and he debated flying to Pittsburgh, but wanted to respect her wanting space. Once again he regretted not being there for her when she needed him the most, but he didn't know how to handle it himself, nonetheless how to help her cope. He ran a hand over his head again and grabbed his keys heading for the door.

* * *

Mara was sitting in her parent's living room flipping through the channels feeling too exhausted to sleep. She'd listened to Randy's voicemails and read his texts, but she still didn't know how to respond. He admitted many times that he wasn't there for her like he should've been, but that's not what bothered her. What bothered her was that she felt like this whole thing was her fault. It was her body that was supposed to carry their baby to full term and deliver a healthy boy or girl, but instead it had betrayed her. The worst part was she didn't have a reason, the doctor had explained that "sometimes these things just happen," so it could've been her fault, and it could very easily happen again.

After she told Randy, he held her while she cried whispering consoling words and apologizing for not being there. In the weeks after he said they could always try again, but Mara was reluctant to the point where she didn't feel sexual at all. She felt like a horrible person for not being able to do the one thing women were made to do, for not being able to make Randy a father like he wanted to be. The thought triggered Mara to start crying again, which she hated more then anything. All she'd done for the last month and a half was cry and it didn't take much to set her off. Just the site of a baby on TV sent her into a tailspin of emotions and what ifs wondering if their baby would have her nose and Randy's piercing blue eyes.

Her sappy, depressing thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door as she quickly wiped at her eyes with the sleeves of her hoodie. Getting up, she wondered who would be knocking on the door at 2AM and was surprised to see Randy through the peephole. After unlocking the door, she quickly opened it coming face to face with the man she wanted so badly to please.

"Randy, what are you doing here?" She wiped at her face again hoping he wouldn't notice she'd just stopped crying, but he knew her better then that. He didn't even answer her question instead he pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. It was the ultimate breaking point for her, the one thing she wanted and needed, as she broke down all over again, mumbling out apologies through her sobs. Randy picked her up and carried her over to the couch continuing to hold her close as he ran a hand through her dark hair. As her sobs subsided, Randy took her chin tilting her face up to meet his.

"Mara I love you so much and I want you to be the mother of my children. I don't blame you for what happened; you can't blame yourself for it, because it happens everyday to women all over the world. I still wish I would have been here when it happened, just like I wish I would have said this to you a month ago, but I didn't know what you needed from me. I realize now you just need me to be there for you, hold your hand and kiss away your tears. I've loved you from the minute I saw you two years ago and nothing will ever change that." Despite the redness of her eyes and her tear streaked face, Mara managed to smile at what Randy had said. Something about him saying it wasn't her fault helped heal something deep inside, something she thought was beyond repair.

"I love you Randal Keith Orton, you're so amazing to me. I can't wait to become your wife and raise our children; it's an honor to be both. I don't know what I would do without you…"

"Well let's not find out…" Randy smirked making Mara smile bigger as she leaned forward to kiss the love of her life.


End file.
